I'm an Ogre

Valerie: Stop being mean!

Jake: You were mean to me!

Valerie: Don't be mean to me when I'm mean to you!

Jake: ....

Bubba

Me: (to Jonah) Looking good bubba.

Val: Wait what? What did you call him?

Me: Huh?

Val: Our children are not "bubbas".

Me: I don't... what?

Val: Do not call our children "bubba". They are not "bubbas".

Me: I was being affectionate, not assigning a nick-name.

Val: Be affectionate with other words.

Me: Me calling our 21 month old son bubba casually once in the kitchen is not going to turn him into a fat unshaven hillbilly in greasy overalls.

Val: Yes. Yes it is. No "bubba". We have no "bubbas" here.

Cromanga-what?

Val: How the job hunt going?

Me: It's... going.

Val:

Me: It's going.

Val: You need to hunt. Hunt! You are a hunter, so hunt! Me, I'm a gatherer- I need to shop. Let me be a gatherer! Hunt!

Me: OOOOOOkaaaayyyyy....