Val's Brush with Nature

Originally posted on myspace September 23, 2005

This past weekend I had the opportunity to go camping in the high sierras, an opportunity I took with enthusiasm. So Saturday morning I set out with Val (my lovely wife), Johanna, and Max. After a five hour drive we arrived at the state park. Having tag teamed with Johanna, I was driving and I pulled us up to the entrance booth. It was a small tan shack occupied by an elderly woman who wore her uniform with pride. We exchanged brief pleasantries and I paid the entrance fee and was rewarded with a small bundle of papers. It was my receipt, a complementary map, and typical "don't litter, don't burn the place down, yes the bears will eat you" literature. As there were a few cars behind us, I only gave the papers a cursory glance and handed them over to Valerie.

Valerie didn't take them. I put the car in gear and gave the hand holding the papers a shake to get Val's attention. "Jake. Jake" Val said quietly. Frowning, trying to watch behind and in from as I began to pull away from the booth with one hand, I leaned over with the intention of putting the papers in her lap. Valerie screamed. Not a typical scream but a blood curdling I'm-getting-murdered-by-bigfoot-in-a-haunted-castle scream. Slamming on the breaks I looked over at my wife. Val looked as if she was trying to exit the car ass first through the keyhole. She had stood up, no mean feat in a car, and her eyes were as big as dinner plates while tears of terror streamed unchecked down her face. Perched on top of the papers in my hand was an immense black spider. I didn't actually see the spider, when the car screeched to a halt it bailed andwas lost in the depths of the vehicle. Val immediately jumped out of the car and hopped around in a circle crying hysterically. After a minute she composed herself, and got back in the car. To her credit the fact that it was still in the car somewhere did not phase her and we arrived at the campsite without further incident. She enjoyed the trip and was able to joke about her experience.

I love my girl.